Tuesday 10 November 2015

Gotcha Week Reflections (5) - The Austin Imperative!

This is the last of our week's reflections from the early years of Austin's residence here. Thank you very much for joining us. We've had a lot of fun :) 

The post is called "The Austin Imperative" and was first published 9th January 2011. By this time we were starting to get noticed by the wider cat blogging community - of which I had no knowledge until the wonderful Caren Gittelman from Cat Chat with Caren and Cody pointed it out to me! As a result, Austin started to get some very grandiose ideas!

Perfecting "The Chicken Stare!"
Austin's third anniversary has come and gone.  I don't actually think he even noticed.  His age must be somewhere between 3½ and 4 now.  To say he's settled and feels at home is a bit of an understatement.  He totally rules the roost, except in one area - bedtime sleeping arrangements. The negotiations are still ongoing as to where he lays his not-so-weary head.  Trouble is, as with most cats his awake times are very early morning and very late at night.  This is when, of course, we are well and truly ready for ZZZZ and are shouting for him to "Austin, come, now" at the top of our voices and peering myopically out into the North Wales night, which is "starless and bible black" as all stereotypical Welsh nights are!    
If he's not out pillaging the countryside then he's stuck like velcro to my lap and I have to heave myself to my feet and shuffle along with Austin clinging on like a koala on a eucalyptus tree.  Totally bizarre scene!  Whatever way it's done, getting him to bed is a painful experience. 
It has been interesting to see, how, over these three years, Austin has learnt to "work the system" so that he achieves the maximum amount of comfort for the minimum amount of effort - I'm sure there is a universal law about it? Oh I know! I think it's "the law of perPETual transmutation of energy".  This is the law that says all pets have the power within them to change the conditions in their lives by harnessing the principle of energy sapping!!  Cats are the masters of this and in addition Austin has been spending a lot of time lately studying "CATegorical Imperative" the seminal work of that famous German ailurophile Immanuel KAnT. 
Here are just some of the many imperatives he's adopted - you will see how he employs the law of "diametric contradiction" in many cases:  
  • Every exit door has to be checked with human panting along behind when it's raining.  
  • No internal door must be closed to a cat or severe trauma to the carpet will ensue.   
  • A cat should not go up the stairs unaccompanied at any time and the accompanying human must be raced up the stairs and thwacked on shoulder through the bannisters.  
  • All food must be picked at disdainfully when human is watching.  
  • A cat must never let on that he knows how to use a cat flap, as it could mean that all the time saved by not running from door to window to window to door would weigh heavy on the human's hands and she could become bored and grumpy. 
  • The cat must always jump onto lap of human to have a long nap at the very moment she decides to get in the car and go shopping.  
  • And finally ......  when the human decides to sit down and write interesting blog post, cat must jump up onto keyboardd aanndf kfkbjdhfihfgoh ujrkjld khf kfgj;phpuoteio.

=^,,^=


maximum (Brit. Informal) - large mother

=^,,^=

45 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha! Thank you so much! I now know another reason why I like your posts so much - whilst being trivial, they're also often intellectual as well. Ok, now I make all over bloggers (including myself) sound superficial and stupid. Which is maybe also true? Gah. I feel like I shouldn't post this reply, because I don't want to upset anyone. But I'll do it anyways. :P

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    1. Hehe!! Trivial is what we aim for!!! If we have succeeded in achieving trivial, then it's four paws up!! ;)

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  2. That is just further proof of your wisdom Austin!

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  3. MOL, that's just too cute! Happy Gotcha week Austin! It's been awesome!

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  4. Austin happy Gotcha Week. WTG celebrating all week...hey lets go for a month long celebration.
    I have a confession I AM NOT a lap CAT...Never was never will be. 13.5 years here never sat in anyone's lap. MW the one who came before me was evidently a real lapsitter and the k9 before MW even liked laps. It is up to me to show my individuality.
    Hugs madi your bfff

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  5. Aaaaaaaw happy gotchaday dear furiend. Weez so glad yous shared these posties wiff us. And weez glad da two of ya' found each udder. Y'all awe da bestest of furiends.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi

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  6. Austin, you are one great cat and so glad that you have complete control over your human as it is very very funny to hear the stories. Love the one about sitting in the Mum's lap even when she is trying to get up to bed. You sure did make us laugh big time.

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  7. Yes, we can see you have trained your hoomin well over the years.

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  8. haha it's good to jump up on their lap when they have to pee too, unless they can't hold it. Then it may get messy.

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  9. dood.....uh.......why iz ther burd inn volved with thiz post.... ?

    ☺☺

    ♥♥♥

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    1. Oops! Sorry da Tabbies! It snuck in when I wasn't looking!! Mol ;)

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  10. I am not a lap cat, but I do like to be cuddled. I would change that though if you would teach me to cling to my human's lap "like a koala on a eucalyptus tree."

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    1. Flynn, buddy, I did evening classes at the local tech ;-)

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  11. I loved looking back at Austin's blogging beginnings! He sure learned fast!

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  12. Brilliant! We sure love seeing how Austin has trained his humans over the years. :)

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  13. Those are some great rules! Austin seems to have such a wonderful personality. My cats have a lot of funny rules too. I think it is a must for kitties. :)
    -Purrs from your friends at www.PlayfulKitty.net

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  14. "Shuffle along with Austin clinging on like a koala on a eucalyptus tree" LOL!!

    We have had the funnest time reading these! Austin you are truly master of your home.

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  15. Hee hee! We enjoyed this post! Austin, you picked the right humans to train!

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  16. OMC.....this blog post is so funny. I am sitting here laughing because you re describing our household. They do have us trained don't they?

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  17. We are going to miss these old posts. This one was particularly good. We always enjoy reading cat universal truths and recognizing ourselves. Our mom used to be a minimum but now she's a maximum. MOL! Mom says that when she is feeling grumpy, she's going to go back and read more of the old posts. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  18. MOL..Mr Poo ! Me read it, Laugh it...." We are the legend ! "
    Good Job Mr Poo =^x^=

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  19. Thank you for making us laugh Austin and that includes our Mum too.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  20. I hesitate to "over do it" but this blog today has GOT to be about my most favorite of all I have ever read, anywhere or any time. AND it is all factual!!! I am armed with a huge smile and "out loud" laughter this early in the morning!!!

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    1. Aww! Queen Katie Isabella, have I ever told you that you're my favourite? ;) ❤️❤️

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    2. OH MY! No but please tell me again and again. Shall you journey over and have an aperitif with me today? We shall have some hams as well my dear. I will look for you anon. <3 <3

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    3. You are my favourite, Queen Katie Isabella! You are my favourite, Queen Katie Isabella! ;-) I will be there before you can say chicken nuggets!! ❤️❤️❤️

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  21. This is a great blog today. I am thinking I had to have met you in 2011... maybe still too early. I will have to check out the original blog post. So, I am wondering if you got any of that delicious chicken? It's breakfast time here but that looks pretty good! Got a kick out of the list of your "imperatives"... :) This has been a fun series!

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    1. Miss Pix, I certainly did get some chicken! That look makes sure I do! MOL

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  22. Those are some wise rules Austin, you have to show who is boss at all times.
    Your posts are bringing back so many memories of my cat. I remember well standing in the rain at midnight trying to entice him back indoors.
    Dip and Elliot x

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  23. Austin, we see that you were laying down the groundwork for NUCAT long ago... well done, furiend! Happy Gotcha Week - we hope the celebrations continue!

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  24. You are very wise, Austin.

    Happy Gotcha Week!

    Purrs xx
    Athena and Marie

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  25. I have to copy your rules, Austin, they are formidable :D Pawkisses for a Happy Gotcha Week :) <3

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  26. Hi Austin! Thanks for visiting me. I'm going to read all your entries just as soon as I can. I can't wait!

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  27. Marty's favorite is the last! Computer on=Marty lying on keyboard!

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  28. HAH! I love these! I always wake up for my lunch just as TW is preparing to go out shopping. Then I eat as slowly as possible.

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  29. Haha. Those are great. I especially love the ones about thwacking the humans' shoulders through the banisters, and taking long naps on laps just when the humans want to get up and get busy.

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  30. Such a brilliant post......this "series" has had me falling out of my seat giggling......our cats are just SO darn entertaining even when they're cranky, demanding, silly, pouting - WHATEVER. Every single day is an adventure.....Austin knows this and has taught YOU so much just as Sam has trained and taught me. Any Cat Mom can see something of their feline in these posts. If cats truly are "alien creatures" (like some of us think...haha), I'd love to visit their planet one day. Has to be a FUN place!

    Hugs, Pam

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  31. FAB post Caro!!!! I did not know you back then so am enjoying reading these posts now...When I studied Philosphy Immanuel KAnT was my fave philosopher...who knew cats studied him also>>ROFWL!!! Thank you so much for saring this post!! Love Sherri-Ellen

    Mee mee-you Unccle Austin mee has dun sum reedin on thiss E-manual KAnT purrson an mee has leerned so-o much....thee KAT Impurrative iss BERRY impawtent an mee finks wee both xempleefie it well ;)
    An thee werd of thee day iss grate>>>LadyMum spitted her water out>>>Max-I-Mum indeed!!! Mew mew mew....
    **Hi-5'sss** neffkitty Siddhartha Henry =^,.^=

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  32. Yes, always on the wrong side of every door...
    I woke up in a very cramped position trying not to disturb whoever was lying at the bottom of the bed recently, only to discover that the said cat was long gone.
    The top drawer of my computer desk is now empty except for a towel - in an attempt to give the cats
    somewhere to nap besides the keyboard.
    xxoo
    Maggie

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  33. Luvluvluv all your rules Austin. You clearly were very skilled at training your humans at a very early age; high paw to you buddy.

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  34. Good work , it didn't take you long to get the family under your control -as it should be :)

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